I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
