Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
