i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
