I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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