Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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