My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We need to get me chipped asap
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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