If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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