I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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