Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he was CRYING into my vagina
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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