I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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