her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
