i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
