also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
