She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
