just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Randomize
