Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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