I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
