you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Still dying that you shit outside
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
