What did we do last night that was yellow?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
