you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
