I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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