Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
that is very illegal...i love you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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