lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
