I like my sex mixed with concussions.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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