Having a random hookup so left but love u
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
