That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
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