im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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