No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
