oh god the rape fog is back!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
