honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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