I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
