Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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