To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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