We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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