Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
