Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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