Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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