just come out here and I will go home with you...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
