I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
