DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
