I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
