quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
