I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
