Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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