The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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