; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
