I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
drinking out of a sandbucket again
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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