def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
