See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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