my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
