Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
