He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she looked like the before picture.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
