Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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