Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
