i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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