Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
